What it Takes
by sissouthernink1994
Summary: When something tragic happens, getting back to normal is top priority.


What it takes to Feel Normal Again

**Disclaimer**: I don't own NCIS: Los Angeles.

**Warning**: This fic contains and established relationship between two men. If you don't like, please don't read.

**A/N**: The pairing for this is Special Agent G Callen and Technical Analyst Eric Beal. They are married in my world. This is actually the third time I've mentioned this couple in my fics. The first is the first chapter in my fic "The Tea Lesson". The second is in my multi-x-over "Dreams". The second chapter is entitled "Nightmare- G Callen." It's not absolutely necessary to read that before reading this, but it might make more sense. I think this will be the first official story pairing these two. Maybe others will carry it on. They will have their own story soon. I'm sketching out the path for it.

G Callen was finally wheeled into a hospital room after recovering from surgery. He was so tired and was having trouble keeping his eyes open, but he wanted to see if Eric was there. He whispered his name.

"He's not out of surgery yet Mr. Callen." Hetty's voice was a familiar comfort. "He should be out in about an hour, then a few hours of recovery. I promise we'll let you know when he's on the way. For now, you should get some rest." She tucked him in a little more.

"You're leaving?"

"Unfortunately. Lots of paperwork to do."

"DuPont?"

"Never left custody. That's how we found you. Your husband really is a genius Mr. Callen. You rest. Mr. Hanna will be here a little later to check on you two."

"Thanks Hetty." He laid his head down again and sleep overtook him.

Four hours later, Eric was being wheeled into their room. G was heavily sedated allowing his body extra time to heal. Eric whispered his name.

"He's here Eric, just sleeping." Sam replied. Eric looked over to his right and saw his sleeping husband. "They've got him sedated pretty good to let the antibiotics work. His spine needed some repairing." Eric nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better. I don't like hospitals."

"Who does? Kensi will stop by your house and bring whatever you guys need later." Sam said.

"You mean you're not going to our house?"

"Nah. I figured neither of you wanted another man going through your underwear drawers. Besides, I didn't want to find any weird toys in there."

"Don't be silly." Eric said, yawning. "We don't keep the toys in there. We keep them in boxes in our nightstands."

"What?"

"Yeah, you know next to the condoms and lube."

"TMI Eric, TMI." The nurse came in and made sure Eric was comfortable.

"Mr. Beal needs some rest now. Your husband will probably be asleep for a few more hours. We'll wake you both later to eat something."

"I'll be able to eat?"

"We'll figure it out later, ok? Sleep now." Eric closed his eyes.

"I'll check you both later."

"Thanks Sam."

The next couple of days Eric and G were in and out of sedation, never really awake at the same time. Once, they stretched out arms to reach each other but fatigue and medicine kept them from completing the task. Soon both men didn't have to be so sedated. And as soon as he could, G made his way to Eric's bed.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Still sore." G reached out to touch his face and Eric moved his head away. "Please don't. I'm too nasty to touch."

"Nasty? Eric what to you mean? You're still beautiful to me. The bruises will heal." He leaned over to kiss him.

"No I'm not. I'm filthy. I want a bath but they won't give me one." Eric looked down at the floor, in defeat. "I guess all rape victims feel this way."

"What way?"

"Not themselves. I don't feel like myself." G looked around and the items Kensi brought from their home. He found their toothbrushes. He found the little buckets and cups that were in the cabinet. He slowly made his way to the bathroom to get water. He came back and they brushed their teeth together just as they did every morning. It was only after that Eric allowed G to kiss him.

"Now let's see about getting you clean."

G took both of the buckets to the bathroom, filled them with hot water and carefully made his way back. The blinds to the window in the hall were slightly open. Sam and Kensi had just arrived but stopped when they saw the two kiss. The nurses were looking in to make sure everything was fine. When G made it back to the bed, he picked up the towels Kensi had brought them. The first thing he did was wash Eric's face with the soap. He kissed Eric's forehead when done.

Next, he loosened the hospital gown to wash Eric's back. The only time G had seen the bruises was while they were being created. He hadn't seen much after he passed out still taped to the chair. He was glad Eric couldn't see the shock and pain on his face but the hitch in his breath echoed through the room.

"How bad is it?" Eric asked. Tears welled up in G's eyes and made his voice crack. There were bruises covering bruises. There was dried blood and the French thugs' nasty semen. Callen tried to hold back his anger so he could take care of his husband in his fragile state.

"It's bad babe. Really bad." G began to gently wash Eric's back. The nurse watching at the desk was about to rush into the room when Sam stopped her.

"Ma'am, please don't."

"Who are you?"

"We're NCIS Agents, here to protect our other agents." He and Kensi showed their credentials. She backed away, a little.

"What does he think he's doing?" The nurse asked.

"He's helping him get back to normal." Kensi replied.

"What does that mean?"

"Excuse me for asking ma'am, but have you ever be sexually assaulted?" Sam asked. She gave him a disgusted look.

"You mean raped?" Sam nodded. "No."

"Have you ever dealt with anyone who has?" Kensi asked.

"Not that I know of."

"The first thing a rape victim, male or female, wants to do is rid themselves of their attacker."

"How?" The nurse asked.

"By taking a bath. They want to get rid of the smell, the feel, and the shame." Kensi said. "It's the first step to getting back to normal."

"It all starts with something as simple as a bath?"

"For many, yes."

They watched as G bathed his husband, being mindful of his bruises and stitched wounds. He carefully washed his buttocks and legs, scrubbing off the dried blood and semen that had run down them. The blood trailed all the way to his feet. Next, he washed Eric's genital area. There were scars and bruises there as well. He could no longer hold in the tears as he washed his love's chest, neck and arms. The sight of the bruises was too much. G could still see the imprint of The Frenchman's shoes. He was surprised that Eric's arms weren't broken. As much as they hit, kicked and slapped him…_Damn them! Rotting in jail would not be proper justice; they don't deserve to rot. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Let someone rape and torture them like they did my Eric. And then put them in front of a French firing squad._ _Those bastards!_

Kensi had also brought them clothes, mostly boxers, t-shirts and pajama pants. She found socks and house shoes, of a sort. Flip-flops- she should have known.

"You want to put on boxers or pants?" G asked, trying to see through his tears.

"I guess the pants." Callen helped his husband step into the pants and had him sit in the chair. Just outside the door was the house keeping cart. Sam stopped her and checked her ID before she went in. She knocked on the door and G answered for her to come in.

"Good Morning. I'm Clara with housekeeping. How are we doing today?"

"Better." They both answered.

"Good." She replied. "I come around to change the sheets but since you two weren't moving much I couldn't. Do you mind if I change them today?"

"Please do. We don't mind." G said. "I just helped him bathe and I know he doesn't want the nasty sheets on his clean body. Thanks." She nodded and got to work on Callen's bed since it was closest to the door. Eric looked at G.

"What about my hair? Do you see what they did?" This was a puzzle to G. He had figured out everything else except for that.

"May I make a suggestion?' Clara asked.

"Sure."

"Why not use the towel to wet his hair, lather him up and then use the towel like you did when you bathed him?"

"We'll try it." He made his way back to the bathroom, emptied the old water and filled them with fresh hot water. He was thankful Kensi brought a few washcloths. He did as Clara suggested and was able to wash the dried semen from Eric's hair. As he dried his hair, G whispered to him, "All clean." Eric had tears in his eyes. He hugged his husband and whispered "I love you."Now he was beginning to feel like himself.

Clara changed the sheets on Eric's bed as G emptied the water and rinsed out the buckets. When he came back into the room, Eric was trying to put on his t-shirt but his sore arms and wrist sprain made it painful.

"Let me help you baby." G said. Clara watched she dumped the trash and swept, preparing to mop the floor. She noticed the matching wedding bands.

"You two are married?"

"Yes, we are." Eric replied.

"Nice to see that people are still living out their vows."

"I tried my best in the situation that we were in but I couldn't help him much." G replied.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"As a child I was in and out of foster care, never knowing anything about my family. Some people found the information, kidnapped and tortured us. And they sexually assaulted my husband before they would give it to us."

"I remember seeing that on the news. It's scary to think and now know there are people in this world so evil."

"Very scary." Eric replied.

"I'm glad you are on the path to healing. Bathing was the only thing I could think of after I was raped."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. My husband was in pieces, the police wanted a statement and all I wanted was a bath. I told them they had five minutes to gather evidence from me and then I was going to hit the shower."

"How did you get past it?" Eric asked.

"Oh, honey, it took a while. Nearly a year. Church was a blessing. I prayed a lot. A lot of people prayed for us. We prayed together and talked about everything we were feeling. My husband didn't like to cry, but it helped him so much when he did. My counselor was a Godsend too. She helped us both. She said that's her calling, to help victims and spouses of rape."

"We haven't talked with anyone yet. What's her name?" G asked. Clara reached into her pocket, pulled out a business card and handed it to them.

"Dr. Penny Andrews. She's the best."

"How long ago was your attack?"

"Almost 15 years ago. My husband and I hadn't been married a whole year yet when it happened."

"Wow, just like us." Eric commented.

"Have you had much time to talk about it?"

"No. They've had us so sedated; this is our first time seeing each other since it happened."G stated. She took out a small tablet from her pocket.

"Do you mind if I put on our church's prayer list?" The husbands looked at each other.

"I guess it couldn't hurt."

"What are your names?"

"I'm Eric Beal, spelled B-e-a-l and this is my husband G Callen, C-a-l-l-e-n." She wrote the names down.

"What does the G stand for?"

"We don't know yet. It's in the envelope." G said.

"Aha," She said. "I don't know if you go to church or not. Here is our address. Whenever you feel up to it, come by and worship with us." She wrote the address on the back of Dr. Andrew's card.

"Thanks. For just listening."

"You're welcome, but I take no credit for it. It's all God." She smiled and began to mop the floor. G helped Eric into bed and he closed the blinds a bit to block out some of the sun's brightness. They weren't ready for that much sunshine yet. Clara finished and left. G headed towards his bed when Eric grabbed his hand.

"Stay with me." The look of fear was on his face. Both knew the nightmares were coming. Both men had been so sedated that there were no nightmares. G nodded and got into bed next to his husband, spooning him so his arms were around Eric. "I'm tired and want to fall asleep, but I'm not ready to see them in my dreams."

"Me either. We haven't talked about it yet. Do you want to?" Eric turned to face him, thought about it and shrugged. His tears however, were and they flowed like water breaking through a dam.

"G, I was so sacred." He sobbed. "I just wanted them to stop and let us go. Oh my god… and… and when they dragged me into that room… I just knew they were going to kill one of us…or both of us." G pulled him closer as his own tears fell.

"I know baby…I know. I couldn't do a damn thing to help you…I watched them…one right after the other…just…" Soon the couple couldn't speak, they just cried holding on to each other as if someone were going to storm the room and snatch them apart. This was the initial release and the first of many on their road to recovery.

Sam and Kensi watched through the window, both feeling helpless. Even though their outcome was different from Dom's, it didn't make it any easier to deal with. They all had fears, millions of questions and hatred for those Frenchman. Even French things were leaving a bad taste in their mouth. Sam couldn't take it and nodded to Kensi that he would be back later.

"Is he going to be alright?" The nurse asked.

"Yes, it's just a lot to deal with." Kensi replied. The nurse looked in the window.

"You can go in if you want." The nurse couldn't see their hurt and tears. She couldn't see that they were trying to get to the path called normal. Kensi shook her head no.

"I'll watch them from here. They need this time alone." The nurse shrugged and left to see other patients.

After a while, exhaustion from crying, comforting and the bath brought on sleep. The nightmares weren't waiting for nighttime to start. Eric woke up to the sun still flowing in the room and his face wet from tears. G felt him move. These beds really weren't made for two. He comforted Eric by gently rubbing his back. Eric sighed as he calmed down and grabbed some tissue. G had positioned the bed so that could sit up. He motioned for Eric to lean back against him and to avail himself of G's arms. As they were getting comfortable again, there was a knock at the door.

"You ready for company?" G asked.

"I guess so. It could just be the nurse."

"Come in." It wasn't the nurse, but a very welcomed face.

"Good afternoon, Agent Callen, Agent Beal."

"Hi Hetty. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." Eric said.

"Yes, I feel the same way. Every time I came here or called to speak to one of you, you were always sedated. I guess it was for the best. How are you feeling?"

"I'm breathing better." Callen said. "My back only hurts when I walk or stand too long."

"When did this happen?"

"He gave me a bath this morning. For some reason, the nurses didn't. No explanation why."

"And you Mr. Beal?"

"I'm still sore and the nightmares have started. I woke up just before you came in."

"If neither of you _**didn't**_ have nightmares that would concern me more than your injuries. Have you spoken with a counselor yet?"

"No, but we got a recommendation from the lady in housekeeping. This Dr. Andrews helped her and her husband when she was raped." He passed Hetty the card. "Maybe she can help us." Hetty turned the card over. "She invited us to church too."

"May I borrow this to give Dr. Andrews a call?" They nodded. "Good." She placed the card in her pocket and brought out a basket full of goodies from the brown bag that she had in her hand. They both laughed with surprise.

"What is this?"

"Part of getting back to normal. I know you both have a sweet tooth and I thought this might help." She set the basket on the table. "For Agent Callen, the lollipops. And Agent Hanna promised that he would make a few origami figures if you could save the wrappers." G smiled. He planned on saving every single one.

"Thank you Hetty. Ohhh and I see plenty of cherry ones."

"And for you Agent Beal, your favorite and mine as well, chocolate. Now, I know you prefer Belgian and French chocolates, but seeing as they are inappropriate at the moment, I brought some of my choice international favorites. This is a Mexican chocolate, the ultimate sweet heat, made with Mexican chilies. This is a German chocolate, dark with antioxidants and made with beer. Here is an Italian one, filled with raspberries. And finally the greatest gift from Mr. Milton Hershey in Hershey, Pennsylvania."

"Wow thanks Hetty. This is awesome." Eric said.

"You're both very welcome. I wanted you to hold on to a piece of who you are, while you are trying to put the rest of you back together." The nurse knocked on the door indicating the afternoon meal was coming.

"I'll leave you to your meal. The director will come by and see you tomorrow. He has been very busy with these poor excuses for Frenchmen. He personally made sure they were properly arrested, booked and held. He'll be very happy to see how you are progressing."

"Thanks again Hetty."

"And as much as we miss you, please take all the time you need to get well. That goes for both of you."

After eating, the couple held each other close, not for warmth, but for familiarity. It was how they normally slept. Each man braced himself for the other's nightmares- a necessary evil on the road to being normal.


End file.
